Profile

Joshua Hoong
06.09.92
Audiophile
Self-Proclaimed-Certified-iPod-Evangelist

Thursday, September 25, 2008 How to Hug and Hurt

I am angry. I AM ANGRY!!! That's why I'm here to vent my insurmountable anger in words and in hope, to one day come back to this page to laugh at my senseless anger.

Bad hair is the cause of this anger. Hairstyle looks like a frigging mushroom save for the dandruff (spores) I managed to cure earlier or else it would have completed the look of Fungi in labour.

Despite the love, and despite the need for it, I really think my mom's hair-cutting skill is comparable with a Five year-old who is handed a pair of scissors and given the task to reproduce the mind's image, regardless of how vague, or clueless, the image of a Cyclura cychlura inornata.

This is not the first time I've offered my head as a sacrifice for her art. She is brimming with enthusiasm, interest and Love but a drop of chemical X found it's way into the concoction and it screwed up.

She was successful on several occasions but it took just this one time to turn me off, along with her domestic hair-cutting career, on my part. it's like how one's white pressed shirt is stained by a drop of ink, and you'd naturally notice the stain, zoom in on it, mentally enlarging it to fit the size of the shirt until the blot is all that can be seen, putting an end to White's existence.

I am angry...? Why again? Was it due to her incompetence, or helplessness at correcting the hair (or the lack of it). In retrospect, I think it boils down to a kind of warped Perception. I vented my anger at her,but really, I was more angry at myself. I chastise myself for thinking it is ugly because I think that the World will think it's ugly. (World, oh World, consider my plight and take pity on me...until my hair grows back, that is). I, too, blame myself for adding a tinge (or dollop) of sarcasm into what everybody says. i.e. like how Shaun greeted me one morning with "oh you had a haircut!" which in my mind trailed off to a silent "man it's screwed", followed by silent maniacal laughter.

If you think my mood was rock bottom with my sucky prelim results, I'd say this hair took me down to a new geological layer.

Or maybe I'll just let it go, to realise that it was the effort, Love and my mom's intention to make my hair perfect, to show off her son to the world; as a shining beacon; her Pride and Joy and Love.

Yes, to look beyond the stain, onto the white shirt. For Love does not cloak ugliness, it washes it away, along with every filth.

This takes me to a verse in Col 3:20. Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord.