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Joshua Hoong
06.09.92
Audiophile
Self-Proclaimed-Certified-iPod-Evangelist

Wednesday, December 31, 2008 No I'm not color blind, I just know the world is black and white



Three Expressos, copious amounts of brown sugar, a peach pie...I'm on an astronomical high! I can't believe 2009's tomorrow, results in 9 days and STARS live! in 7 days. I can't wait! Marry me, Amy!


Sunday, December 28, 2008

















Thursday, December 25, 2008 Lensbabies




If you get me these for Christmas, I'll marry you!

Blessed CHRISTmas, all!(:


Sunday, December 21, 2008
YEAH YEAH YEAH! I GOT MY CANON EOS 40D!!! But I got it in a way I never knew was possible. And there were 2 occurrences of this in the whole process. Namely, I was at this camera store at Funan which Lihui accompanied me to. We inquired about the 40D body to which the shopkeeper said $1350. The shopkeeper told me he was from my church and a friend of Lihui. On these 2 accounts, he passed me the 40D and told me to pay another day because my intention of going to Funan that day was just to check the prices and I did not have the money with me.

I said a quick prayer and the lyrics to the song Give Me Words To Speak by Aaron Shust jumped to mind. I then gave my Dad a call and Mum picked up. I asked her about Dad's mood (me knowing that he's a very tempremental dude) and she said he was ok.
Dad:Yeah what?
Yours truly: Hey I called to ask about my camera. This guy is selling it at $1350 and he says that I can take it home so long as I pay on Monday.
Dad:Okay. (<-I NEVER EXPECTED THIS)

God works in the most wondrous ways. Praise You, ABBA DADDY!


Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Tjoa Lu Si. I curse the day you were born! You demanding auntie-supervisor, you!

You say I am disanimated and work too slow when I packaged more vegetables than I bet you could in an entire day.

I think you have eyes at the back of your head because you "saw" me rolling eyes at you when for the 7th time you showed me how to package vege when I was doing it right all along. But I can't argue with you. That would be most impolite of me.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008 Aluminium Foil Warriors

If I had to describe my first day at work, I would say that it was repetitive.

Imagine a sea of Beijing cabbages in basket A. Take one out, tear out the bad leaves, place it delicately into a bag, tape the bag, cut off the excess packaging and place it into basket B. Voila! What's the best thing at the end of it all? It's gonna start all over again tomorrow and the many more tomorrows to come.

I'm only doing it part-time; imagine those people in there who have to do it every day. Poo-wee. Speaking of people, I just realised that not only were the customers old people; so were my colleagues! I hope they bring their granddaughters. *chants mantra*

I was given an employee's hat and apron and they're super-dooperly unglam so for those who're thinking of dropping a visit, tell me beforehand so I can prepare myself for your entrance and rub off the grumpiness and age gathered from being with this company.

Oh! I was a naughty employee today. I accidentially ripped open the corner of a rice bag so some rice spilled out and I frantically hid it underneath other bags of rice while my supervisor had his back turned on me.


Monday, December 15, 2008 Hang On Little Tomato



I'm starting work tomorrow! (the exclamation mark was inserted to represent excitement and anticipation but I wonder how long it will take before it sours into regret and frustration). I even created a mantra in hope that it will keep me from bashing a fish over the head of a demanding auntie-customer: Be-nice-to-aunties-and say-a-prayer-in-hope-theat-they-will-bring-their-hottie-granddaughters-a-fraction-of-their-age.

I saw myself working at a more exciting place, really. Somewhere along the lines of HMV or Starbucks, or Billboard or in a suit slogging over the macbook, rushing a certain assignment my boss set me. Now look what hit me! I got a job at NTUC serving old-aunties as they come by after their daily tai-chi routines and stink of sour medicinal sweat and enquire in some dialect I can't comprehend. So really, make my day and drop by to visit the NTUC branch at Hougang Ave 3 sometime, okay? *chants mantra*

I'm really there for the pay. It pays okay. $5.50/hour. $55/day. $1644/month. 7am-5pm. About right if I work like a cocksucker.


Tuesday, December 9, 2008 Hello People,

I'm so hyped that STARS is coming to Sinagapore! It's old news though, so I'm saying this only to invite you to come along with me. It's $88 only because I can't afford the better tickets and it's worth every cent because Amy Millan can sing as well as she looks. It's 9PM at the Esplanade so contact me asap so I can book the tickets for you.

Monday, December 8, 2008 I can't tell you how much I hate plane rides because it would breach into the unmentionables which will be very unhealthy for you children.

It just makes me feel so claustrophobic because it's a rule to remain seated at all times other than the trips down the aisle into yet another 1 square-foot of a lavatory. And when I'm back at my seat, it's just miserable that I have to do elbow fights with my sibling to get the under-cushioned armrest. It was a completely pitch-black view out of the little window, it being a night flight and this only made it worse because my senses tell me that I am not moving and my mind tells me it's a long ride, so mentally, I'm stuck in oblivion. When coupled with the urge to get out of the darned plane which I did several times and imagined myself windsurfing outside instead, or the morbid moments when reality sinks in and tells me that if I'm out there I'd have to hang on for dear life because the plane is moving at 900 km/h with headwinds of 50km/h in my face, freeze to death becuse it's -56 degrees celcius outside, squeeze the last breath of oxygen from my body, when I'm already suffocating from excitement with thoughts about New York, with anneroxically thin or no oxygen at all at such high altitudes or like in the cartoons, be sucked into one of the giant motors.

It's also unbearable when they serve a heavy, stale and grotty dinner, supper and breakfast with what seems like only minutes in between each other when it's still dark and the only tools available to tell me how much time had passed was through the watch I was wearing which I believed was lying, the number of pages of Man Walks into a Room by Nicole Krauss read, and the number of on-board movies I watched. At the same time, my body tells me that I have to sleep but my mind tells me that I can't because I already did for a million years. My mind yields.

I never knew I could yearn for sunlight as much as a plant needs it for survival. It came to the point where I told myself that I would die peaceful if I could see the sun once more. Well I got my wish and almost immediately, I wished for night again because we were flying over the clouds and without the cloud-cover, you'd be getting the full blast of it.

I really came to appreciate SIA girls more, you know. Her intermittent strolls along the aisle carried me a step closer to Heaven each time. As she brushed past, the fragrance of pine, crused roses and apples lingered and filled the little space I had and I inhaled deeply to make sure I had the last bit, but slowly to avoid detection. I felt so voyeuristic but fully satisfied and said a little prayer in hope that she would walk past once more.

On the other note, I really hope some smartass will discover teleportation someday...


Thursday, December 4, 2008










































SJP!