I'm Falling by the Wayside.

My family's asleep and my mad-typing on the keyboard is a screaming bitch but i think i gotta let it out:

I'm really confused. A while back, after the release of 'O' Level results where the land opens up and you find people you know clinging onto the edge of friendship and you pull the people you care about out of their despair and you step on the fingers of the rest you don't and watch them fall into a deep, dark nothingness. I told myself I'd rid my life of people whom I don't like very much and I started deleting people off my Facebook Friend's list.

But recently, I'm having second thoughts and I return to visiting their pages again, checking on how they are, how they look like now and it's done with no ill intention or hope of finding them being stuck in shit. On the contrary, I visit with a rather reserved, timid form of care.

And recently I've been caught in the race of adding friends, or I find people requesting to be my friend and all I know about these people are just about as much as their names and the info given on Facebook about them. Nobody makes a move to formally introduce each other. And their status and shit are flooding up my Facebook homepage and I get really irritated cause I don't care a shit for them.

I think a friend on Facebook is like an accessory, a number. And these numbers add up to 200 or 400 odd people and you're like hey I know so many people so I'm better than you. It's a never-ending, tiresome race. And we think we're competing against each other but we're doing the extreme opposite by "befriending" each other. And when you stand up against the flow, everybody raises an eyebrow and that makes you sit back and behave again. 

I think if I deleted away all these "friends" and save those who are really dear to me, it'd only be a good 20 people?

I recall Auntie Charis gaping at the number of Facebook friends I've got and questioned me about it, to which I could only manage a shrug.

I think Facebook should create a setting where only real day-to-day friends are allowed to be added. The only way I can think of now is when A wants to add B, A must answer a question B posts. Like their likes and dislikes. And if they answer wrongly, they'll be curse and banished to the depths of hell.

Okay. So now I have people whom I think I'm starting to care about who are no longer Facebook friends of mine, and I have people whom if they died on me right now I'd just say a quick prayer and mourn them for 2 seconds who are my existing Facebook friends. SWEET.

I think I'm gonna just live on Flickr for now. Screw FB.

XOXO,

Confused